From Walter Eacott's collection:
A man in Brisbane walked into the produce
section of his local Woolies supermarket and asked to buy half a head of
lettuce.
The boy working in that department told him
that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy
ask the manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to
the manager,
"Some old bastard wants to buy a half a
head of lettuce."
As he finished his sentence, he turned around
to find that the man was standing right behind him, so he quickly added,
"and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal and the man
went on his way.
Later, the manager said to the boy,"I
was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we
like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?"
"New Zealand, sir," the boy
replied.
"Why did you leave New Zealand ?"
the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but
prostitutes and rugby players there."
"Is that right?" replied the
manager,
"My wife is from New Zealand!"